


Snape’s Unknown Secret

by Severusdoe



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Severitus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25689994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Severusdoe/pseuds/Severusdoe
Summary: It's Harry's first year at Hogwarts. While Harry searches for Nicolas Flamel he stumbles on the mirror of erised. When Harry looks in and sees his family, and it isn't what he was expecting.-severitus-mentions of abuse-active story!All rights go to JK Rowling I'm just having fun
Comments: 24
Kudos: 79





	1. Detention before Christmas

Harry was eating his toast quickly because he got up late and had potions first.  
"Harry slow down! You're going to get a stomach cramp!" Hermione said. "You and Ron have to stop staying up late playing wizard's chess! It's a silly game!"  
"You're only saying that because I'm better than you," Ron said as he stuffed a sausage into his mouth.  
"Disgusting. I'm going to class." Hermione got up and marched out of the great hall.  
"She's just jealous Ron," Harry said as he looked over at Ron.  
"I know."

Harry and Ron hurried into the potions room and sat beside Hermione.  
"Looks like we made it on time!" Ron cheered.  
"Good because you won't want detention with Professor Snape two days before Christmas break," Hermione said as she lay out her quill and parchment on the table.  
Just as Harry was unpacking his Quill and Parchment, Snape came into the potions classroom.  
"Today you will be making a simple potion and the recipe is on the board. Before you get started I will be collecting last nights essay on the uses of Lady's Mantle."  
Harry's insides flipped. "Ron! I forgot to do the essay!" Harry whispered as Snape started collecting essays.  
"Harry! You should have copied off Hermione before class!"  
"I Couldn't because my scar really hurt this morning so I lay in bed for an extra half hour!"  
"Well maybe you can-" Ron couldn't finish his sentence because Snape arrived at their table.  
"Mr Weasley and Mr Potter, do you have your essays for me?"  
Harry jumped in his seat and turned to face His teacher. Snape was smirking as if he knew that Harry didn't do his essay yet.  
"Right here sir," Ron said as he handed Snape his essay.  
"And you Potter?"  
"I- I don't have it." Harry said and looked down at the floor.  
"Well, well, well did Potter think he was to good for a school essay? Detention tonight at 8!"  
Draco and a few other Slytherins snickered at the next table.  
Harry heart thumped in his throat and his ears burned. He looked up and saw a couple class mates quickly turn away pretending they weren't watching.  
"Well what did I say about avoiding detention before Christmas?" Hermione said as she got up to grab her ingredients.  
Harry pulled out his parchment and quill and started copying down the potion ingredients. His face was still heated with embarrassment and anger. Harry hated Snape since he first met him. Harry can still remember the sorting hat saying he would do good in Slytherin. He remembers looking over at Snape who had greasy hair and wore a scowl on his face. He remembered how everyone told him that no one from Slytherin hasn't turned bad, and then proceeded to beg the hat to put him in Gryffindor. Harry hasn't regretted his actions especially after finding out Snape HATED Harry. Harry had no reason for Snape to hate him and that's what made him hate Snape back.

After dinner in the great hall, Harry, Ron, and Hermione went to the library to continue searching for Nicolas Flamel. They sat at a table with piles of books in front of them. Harry flicked through a rather large book about famous healers while he thought about his upcoming detention. Harry hadn't had detention with Snape before. He hoped Snape wouldn't make him eat frogs or poison him.  
"What's wrong Harry?" Ron whispered over to Harry.  
"I'm just thinking about detention with Snape. I hope I make it out alive."  
"If you don't I'll make sure Draco doesn't come to your funeral."  
"Thanks Ron." Though it it made Harry laugh, it didn't help with Harry's nerves.

When Madame Pince kicked them out of the library Harry waved a sad goodbye to his friends and headed down to the dungeons. As he walked down his stomach had butterflies and his heart thumped louder the closer he got to Snape's office. Harry hoped he would make it out of detention alive.  
Harry knocked on Snape's door and waited as he heard his heart thumping in his ears.  
"Come in," he finally heard Snape say. Harry walked in cautiously while looking around. He saw jars of weird creatures and potions with strange consistencies on shelves all over the room. At the end of the room was Snape's desk. There was a stack of parchment and a caldron on top of his desk.  
"Good evening Potter. We will head over to my classroom where you will be serving your punishment." Snape said as he sat behind his desk grading the essays from Harry's class. Harry's heart skipped a beat when he saw what Snape was grading.  
Snape picked up the papers and stood up and made his way across his office to the door.  
"Follow Potter," Snape snapped.  
Harry quickly caught up to Snape. They walked into the classroom and Snape put the papers on his desk, then walked over to a stack of cauldrons.  
"Normally I clean these with magic but since you have earned yourself a detention, you have saved me the trouble and you will be cleaning them by hand. You must clean all of them before you leave."  
Harry nodded and then Snape walked over to his desk to grade the essays. Harry looked at the stack of cauldrons. There must have been fifty or more! It would take Harry all night! Harry picked up the sponge that was sitting next to them and got to work. Harry's hand started cramping up half way through and his straight black hair kept creeping over his eyes. Snape must really hate me, Harry thought to himself as he scrubbed hard on a stubborn spot.  
When Harry finally finished the last cauldron it was midnight. Harry signed with relief as his cramping hand let go of the sponge.  
"Professor Snape? I'm finished."  
Snape looked up at Harry and then at the clock on the wall. He got up and walked over to the cauldrons. Snape analyzed the cauldrons closely for a few minutes.  
Harry's scar suddenly started burning.  
"Ah!" Harry said suddenly.  
"What is it Potter?"  
"Nothing. Sorry.."  
"Okay you cleaned them enough that I will let you go. But if you get detention again you will have to scrub even more cauldrons and put them away. Understood? Or is that to complicated for you to understand Potter?"  
"Understood sir." Harry said trying not to talk back and earn himself another detention.  
"Good. Now you may leave."  
As Harry left the potions classroom and saw Professor Quirrell was standing by the door.  
"Oh! Professor Quirrell! I just finished my detention, I'm not wandering around after curfew."  
Quirrell was about to say something back when Snape came out of the classroom.  
"Quirrel... what are you doing here? Potter get a move on!"  
Harry quickly walked out of the dungeons and back to his common room. He saw Ron and Hermione waiting for him in the empty common room.  
"Harry! You're alive!" Ron jumped out of his seat by the fire.  
"Barley! I ran into Quirrell on my way out and Snape seemed really mad about it and told me to leave."  
"That's weird. At least Snape didn't poison you."  
"I was sure I wasn't coming out alive."


	2. The Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry discovers something he wasn’t supposed to know

Harry was sitting under his covers after a long day of laughing and playing in the snow. He was tired from the Christmas feast but couldn't sleep because he was up reading his new potions book from Hermione and eating every flavoured beans. Despite Harry and Snape's feud, potions was Harry's favourite subject. He appreciates the art and patience of combining ingredients and magic to create potions.

Harry was almost done the chapter on the calming draught when he heard Ron snoring a bed over. Harry laughed to him self quietly. Just then Harry remembered is invisibility cloak. 

"Right!" Harry wanted time try his dad's invisibility cloak, but by himself.  
Harry quietly opened his trunk and pulled out the silky cloak. It was very pretty, Harry admired. He carefully wrapped it around himself and crept out of the common room.

"Who's there?!" The fat lady called out, but Harry kept on walking. Harry didn't even know where he wanted to go. Harry was thinking about what he should do next when he heard foot steps coming around the corner.

Harry was about to book it until he remembered he was invisible. He quickly stood to the side behind a statue to let whoever it was, pass him.   
"I heard you! You can't hide!" Snape came swiftly around the corner with his cape billowing behind him.

Harry gasped and clapped his hands around his mouth so that Snape couldn't hear him. He didn't want another detention with Snape!

Snape lurked around the corridor looking for who he heard, with his wand shining. Harry could see the shadows from the statue growing smaller as Snape came closer. Snape snapped around the statue causing Harry to jump, but didn't make a noise. Snape looked disappointed when he didn't see anyone, and then continued lurking down the corridor. Harry sighed at the close call. Harry was about the head back to his dorms when he figured out what he should do with the cloak. He could use the cloak to sneak into the restricted section of the library! 

Harry crept down the corridors until he reached the library. He stalked in expecting to be caught at any second. He headed quietly, avoiding the creaking of the floor boards, to the restricted section. He made it. He was in the restricted section.

He scanned all of the books looking for the name Nicolas Flammel, but so far he only saw potions, transfiguration, and other class's text books. Harry saw one that looked interesting and reached his hand out of his cloak to grab it. He pulled it off the shelf and started opening it when suddenly it opened by itself. A face popped out of the book and started screaming at the top of its lungs! Harry jumped and quickly closed it! He placed it back on the shelf and started running out of the library not caring about the noise he was making. He was about to exit the library when he almost ran into Mrs Norris! Harry quickly stopped not wanting Filch to find him. Harry tried to pass the cat but it seemed like she knew Harry was there. She meowed and stood in Harry's way. 

Harry could hear foot steps coming closer down the corridor. Filch ran to Mrs Norris gasping for breath. 

"I will find who is out of bed and punish you!! Your punishment will be greater if you're in the restricted section!" Filch ran past Harry and into the library.   
Harry's heart was pounding in his ears and he quickly took off from the library. He ran as fast as he could through the corridors, not knowing where he was going. He just wanted to get as far away from Filch as he could. Harry booked it into a classroom at last. Harry leaned against the door catching his breath. After he could breath and his heart was at a normal pace, he took off his cloak and looked around. It seemed like he was in an abandoned classroom. At the back of the room was a large, elegant mirror. Harry walked closer to it and looked at himself in the mirror. Harry almost let out a scream when he saw a crowd of people around him! He quickly turned around and saw no one behind him. Harry looked back at all of the people in the mirror surrounding him. There were people with his long black hair and his green eyes. Harry concluded that these were his ancestors! He looked at the two people closest to him. There were two young adults, one woman and one man. The woman had long flaming red hair and green eyes. She had her hand on Harry's shoulder and was smiling at him. Harry smiled back. 

"Are you my mother?" Harry asked the woman. The woman nodded back to him. Harry felt a tear slide down his cheek. He looked over at the man next to him. He looked very familiar to Harry.   
"Are you my father?" Harry asked the man.

He nodded back to Harry. Harry smiled at him and the man smiled back. He was tall and lean. He had long, straight black hair like Harry. Harry also noticed that he had a large nose. Harry squinted at he man. The man frowned at Harry's confused look. 

Harry gasped. After the man frowned Harry realized who he looked like! Snape...  
No.. Harry thought. Just a coincidence.  
"Harry?" 

Harry quickly turned around startled by the sudden presence. It was Dumbledore. He emerged from the shadows of the classroom.

"Dumbledore? What are you doing here? And what is this mirror?" 

"Harry, this mirror shows our greatest desires. Your greatest desire is to see your family."

"So my family isn't actually here?"

"I'm afraid not. Harry..."

"My dad... why does he look so much like Snape?"

"Harry... we have to talk.."


	3. Snape’s Unknown Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Snape discover the truth

"Harry we have to talk." Harry stopped asking questions. Dumbledore sounded too serious for Harry's liking.  
"Please come with me to my office." Harry obeyed and followed Dumbledore out of the classroom. Harry's heart was beating in his ears again. He was in so much trouble, Dumbledore probably knew that Harry was in the restricted section. 

Harry's mind wandered as they headed down many corridors. But was brought back to reality when Dimbledore spoke to someone.  
"Ah! Severus! Come with us please!" Harry looked up at Snape.  
"So YOU were the one out of bed Potter!" Snape sneered. "Of course you were! I'm going to give you the worst detention of-"  
"Severus! There will be no detentions for Potter."  
"Why headmaster, he has clearly broken the rules and arrogantly strutted the halls after curfew!"  
"Severus please! Come with us to my office, there is something we must discuss."

Snape looked down at Harry and then back at Dumbledore and nodded. They made their way to a large gargoyle at the end of a hall. Harry wondered why they would be stopped at q gargoyle when Dumbledore muttered lemon drops and it started moving. They walked up the stairs that appeared behind the gargoyle and into Dumbledore's office. It was large and was covered with magical devices and trinkets. Please wait over by my desk. Harry's heart beat so loudly that he was sure Snape could hear it. Harry knew he was in so much trouble, he was probably going to be expelled. Harry felt like his legs had turned to jello and he couldn't feel them anymore. Dumbledore placed a large bowl on his desk in front of Snape and Harry. I want both of you to look at this memory that I have stored away. Its very important that both of you view it now. 

Harry was about to ask what the bowl was for when Dumbledore interrupted.  
"Harry this is a pensive. Wizards can store their memories and view them later on in a pensive. I have this one here." Dumbledore said as he poured a silvery blue liquid into the bowl of water.  
Both of you will view it together.   
"Headmaster, what are you doing?" Snape asked.  
"Just trust me." Dumbledore said back to snape.  
Snape glared down at Harry.  
"Now put your heads in." Dumbledore said one last time.

Harry felt as though the pensive sucked him in, and suddenly he was standing in a small living room with Snape next to him. The room was crowded with old books and there was a large fireplace in front of him. Harry did not recognize where he was. He and Snape turned around and saw three people: a woman with long red hair and bright green eyes sitting next to a man with messy black hair and round glasses, sitting on a couch. It was Harrys mother and another man, but what was his mother doing in Snape's memories? Across the room was an old armchair, and sure enough, Snape was sitting in it. He had long greasy black hair and wore a scowl on his younger face. And at that moment the realization hit Harry like a truck. He looked up at Snape who seemed very confused and as if he didn't recognize the memory.  
"Thank you for coming, Severus!" Lily said.  
"I still don't know why this is necessary," the other man said, he was slouched on the couch and had his arms crossed.  
"Be quiet James, you agreed to this, and it's the only way!"

"Why am I here?" Snape finally said, avoiding eye contact with James.  
"You see Severus, you are an old friend of mine, and I trust you. James and I have been trying for a child of our own, but it's not working. I was just wondering if we could borrow your seed?"  
"No! I'm not going to be the father of James Potter's child!"  
"Please Severus? For me?"

Snape sat there for a moment. He looked as if he was thinking about doing it.  
"But Lily, he is a death eater!" James cried.  
"I don't care! I trust him."  
"I'll do it, but not for James, but you Lily."  
"Oh, thank you so much!"  
They all stood up.  
"Are you ready Sev?"  
"Yes."

Lily and Snape linked arms, and James pulled out his wand. He waved it in a few circles and swished it around Snape and Lily's heads. Blue sparkles washed down their heads and met at their hands, that were linked, and disappeared.  
"Thank you so much, Severus! I owe you one!"  
Snape nodded as he was putting on his cloak and then walked over to the door to leave.  
"Obliviate!" James yelled from the other side of the room. The charm hit Snape right on his head, and he was knocked out.  
"James! What the Hell!" Lily cried.  
"I was doing it for us, Lily! Now they will be our child, and not Snivellus's!"  
"Oh for god's sake James! They were already going to be our child! Severus wasn't going to be involved!"

Lily ran over to Snape. He was lying in front of the door, with his hair falling over his face.  
"Wingardium leviosa," Lily said, and Snape started hovering above the ground.  
"Wait here, James."  
"Wait, where are you going?"  
"I'm taking him to dumbledore!" Lily walked towards the fireplace with Snape trailing behind her. She stepped into the fireplace and grabbed a handful of floo powder.  
"Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts!" she yelled.  
Images were swirling around Harry and Snape, and suddenly He was in Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts.

Lily came out of the fireplace, in Dumbledore's office, with Snape still hovering behind her.  
"Oh, my Merlin! What happened?" Dumbledore asked as Lily placed Snape on the floor.  
"Well you see, James and I were having trouble conceiving a child, so we asked Severus for help. Sev agreed, but I guess James didn't want Sev to remember that he has a child, so he obliviated him!"  
"I see," Dumbledore said as he looked down on Snape. "I will be able to restore his memories, but not his most recent ones. He won't remember that he has a child, but I can extract those memories now so that he can view them later."

"Yes! Thank you, Dumbledore!" Lily left through the floo. Dumbledore grabbed a flask from one of his desk drawers. Dumbledore knelt next to Snape's head and pulled out his wand.  
Images were swirling around Harry and Snape again. His head flew out of the pensive and he was back in Dumbledore's office.


	4. Severus Snape’s Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Snape cope with the news

Harry immediately ran out of Dumbledore's office. Snape sat in the chair across from Dumbledore staring into space. If you looked closely at Snape's face you could see a single tear rolling down his cheek.

"Severus? Are you okay?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

Snape looked up at Dumbledore with tears growing more in his eyes. 

"How could you do this to me?!" Snape snarled.

"Do what?" Dumbledore replied.

"I have a son, with Lily, and you never told me?" Snape's voice was growing weaker.

"Severus please understand that I-"

"You what? Had a plan and failed to mention Lily and I have a son?"

"Severus I had to for the Potters and your safety!"

"No!" Snape stood suddenly. "You never told me and I had the right to know!"

"Severus! You were a death eater! I couldn't have everyone knowing that the boy-who-lived was a death eaters son!"

"You can't control people like this! I had a son and you let me believe he was a Potter!" Snape broke down onto the floor. "I've failed Lily... I've failed our son..."

"Severus, you have done no such-"

"I was to busy treating him like his father to even realize that he doesn't even look like him!" Snape cried.   
Snape started sobbing into his robes and Dumbledore walked over to him. He placed his hand on Snape's shoulder. "My own son hates me and he has every right to hate me. Mine and Lily's son.."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry ran through the corridors until he reached a dead end with no one else around. He sobbed silently into his knees.

All the things he had heard about how great his father was, and how much he was like his father, didn't matter anymore because James isn't even his father. Instead it's slimy, rude Snape, the professor who has been torturing him since day one.

Harry hates Snape and Snape hates Harry. He will never be loved by Snape, as far as Harry knows, Snape is incapable of love. Harry cried harder into his knees. 

Harry had a father the ten years he spent being tortured and beaten by the Dursley's and didn't even know. The entire time he was beaten and locked up for the smallest things he could have had a better life. But how much better could it have been? It is Snape, he would probably beat Harry and lock him up as well. 

As Harry sat in the corner he wished he had never found out about his true father, his life would be far more simple. Snape might be even worse to Harry now that he knows his least favourite student is his son...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snape knew what he had to do. He got up and shook off Dumbledore's hand. He no longer looked up to the older wizard. He had manipulated Snape's life and he wasn't going to take it anymore. 

Snape billowed down the corridors until he reached his personal quarters.  
"Amica mea," Snape said to the wall. It opened up and Snape stepped inside. 

Snape preferred to spend more time in the potions classroom where he could brew potions instead of being in his quarters, so it wasn't decorated. He sat down at the table in the dining room with parchment and a quill. He had to write a letter to Potter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry awoke the next morning in his bed. Some point during the night he must have gone back to his dorm. He looked over at Ron's bed and he was already awake and dressing.

"Harry! You've slept in! You better hurry up so that we don't miss breakfast!" Ron said as he pulled on his new Weasley sweater.

Harry and Ron rushes into the Great Hall and took a seat by Fred and George. 

"Were you up late trying your new cloak or something?" Ron asked Harry.

"You could say that," Harry said and the memories from the previous night flooded back to him. Harry looked at the Staff table and sure enough Snape was there. He looked as if he was purposely trying not to look at Harry.

Harry dug into his warm bowl of oatmeal when he heard screeching from above. He looked up and saw owls flooding into the Great Hall. 

"I hope Mum and Dad sent me something!" Ron said excitedly.

Headwig came in with the swarm of owls and dropped a small letter onto Harry's lap.

He picked it up and flipped it over. It had no name on it. Harry thought it was strange, but decided to open it anyways. He ripped it open and pulled out a peace of parchment.

Dear Mr Potter,  
I would like to have a chat with you about the recent news. Please meet me in my office at 7 tonight.  
-S.S

Harry looked over at Snape. Snape quickly turned away, he was clearly watching Harry. Harry pocketed the letter. I guess I have to go, he thought to himself.


	5. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape and Harry have their meeting

Snape sat behind his desk in his office after eating dinner in the great hall. He was waiting to talk to Harry. He needed to make things right with him. 

Suddenly there was a timid knock on the door.

"Come in," Snape said.

Harry came in looking extra insecure and nervous.

"Have a seat Potter."

Harry sat down in front of Snape and looked like he was getting ready to get yelled at.

"Potter I wanted to talk to you about..."

"It's Harry." Harry said quietly while looking at the floor. Snape was caught off guard and then continued.

"Harry... I wanted to talk to you about the news we have discovered.” Harry didn't say anything he just sat there staring at the ground. "Harry, I'm so sorry."

"You should be."

"I know. I will completely understand if you hate me. I can explain. You're father, err James, and I didn't have a good relationship when we went to school together and I treated you like you were his clone... I'm sorry..." Snape hadn't said those words since he said them to Lily. And now he was saying it to their son.

Harry didn't move. He sat there staring at the floor.

"Why did you hate James?" Harry asked quietly.

"It's a very long story that I don't want to talk about." 

Harry finally looked up and into Snape's eyes. Harry's eyes were a piercing green just like Lily's, and Harry's face and hair... Snape just realized that Harry has his straight black hair and long face, but Lily's nose and cheeks. How dumb was he? He was so focused on Harry being a Potter spawn that he had never noticed how alike they looked.

"Sir?" Harry knocked Snape out of his day dreaming.

"That's a story for another time. Do you think you can forgive me?"

"I don't know.." Harry looked down at his hands that were fiddling with the ripped seam of his robes. 

"I understand."

Harry got up to leave Snape's office.

"Wait!" Snape called and Harry sat back down slowly. "Do you know why Dumbledore told us last night? In the middle of the night..?"

"That's er a long story... I don't think I want to tell you."

"Please trust me Potter I want to try and make things right with you.." Snape shocked himself when he heard him say that out loud. Based on Harry's face, he to was shocked.

"Oh um.." Harry looked down at his feet. "You can't get me into trouble."

Snape wasn't sure where this was going but agreed so that Harry would trust him.

"Okay.. I got an invisibility cloak for Christmas and it used to be my fathers. I mean James's.."

"Wait! James has an invisibility cloak!" Things from Snape's experience at Hogwarts we're starting to make more sense.

"Yeah. That night I couldn't sleep so I wanted to try it out." Harry looked at Snape to see if he would get mad while Snape tried his hardest to keep a straight face. 

"Go on," Snape finally managed to say.

"I was er.." Harry had to be very careful to make sure he didn't reveal that he went into the restricted section of the library, or Snape might loose his temper. "Exploring the corridors.. As I was walking along I almost ran into you, sir."

Snape already knew this. He wondered why Harry would be worried about getting into trouble.

"When you finally walked away I ran away and found my self in an abandoned classroom. There was this weird mirror in there.."

"What was so weird about it?" Snape was quite curious now.

"Well Dumbledore found me and told me that it showed the heart's greatest desire." Oddly Snape knew what mirror Harry was talking about. 

"It showed me my family I lost. I saw my mom, she was pretty." Snape felt his heart sink. He hadn't seen Lily in over ten years. He almost started tearing up but held back. "I saw you, standing with your arm around lily. I didn't recognize you because you were younger. I finally recognized you when you frowned. you looked happier then." 

It seemed as if Harry realized who he was talking to and put his head down again.

"Well Dumbledore found me and he wanted to talk to me in his office, and we ran into you along the way.” Harry said and looked up again.

“Ah, and then we saw the memory.”

“Yes.” How did you know my mother?” The dreaded question. Snape hoped Harry wouldn’t ask.

After a few seconds of Snape not knowing what to say, Harry broke the silence. “I told you something, now you tell me.”

“Fine. I met your mother at a park when we were 9. She and her sister were playing and I suspected that she was a witch. After watching her I realized that she was. When I told her, she was offended at first. We quickly became best friends. The rest is a blur for some reason.” Snape’s head hurt while he tried to remember the rest but couldn’t. (Besides the memory from the pensive.)

“Oh,” Harry was a bit disappointed because Snape couldn’t remember.

“You can leave now, it’s getting late.” Snape finally said.

“Okay, bye sir.”


	6. Dumbledore’s Office

Harry flopped down onto his bed in the dorms. He was tired of everything with Snape. He didn’t want a family, look how that turned out for him. He especially didn’t want Snape as his family. He didn’t care that he and his mom were friends as kids, Harry knew what Snape was like now. He knew Snape wasn’t telling him the whole story about Lily, and he was a bit curious. But Harry didn’t want to speak to Snape ever again. He was horrible to Harry and he was his son, of course he didn’t know that. But Snape is bitter towards everyone and Harry doesn’t want to be associated with that. Tomorrow is the last day of winter break, so Harry decided that he will pretend that none of this is happening for one day, before going back to school.

Harry hung out with Ron and his brothers the following day. They went outside and played in the snow and then went to Hagrid’s for hot chocolate and rock cakes. 

“Thanks Hagrid!” They called as they left.

“Come again soon!” Hagrid called back while waving.

-

“What fun that was!” Ron said as he flopped onto the comfiest chair by the fire in the common room.

“Yeah! Hermione should be back soon!” Harry said taking a chair next to Ron. “I hope she found something on Nicolas Flamel while she was gone because we sure didn’t.”

“I feel like we’ve almost searched the whole library!” Ron said and sunk lower into the chair.

Harry was about to try and lift Ron’s spirits when suddenly a crowd of talking and laughing students walked into the common room. It was the end of their quiet Christmas.

“Hermione!” Ron called putting when Hermione emerged from the crowd. 

“Hello guys! How was your Christmas?” Hermione asked.

“Great! Did you find anything on Nicolas Flamel?” Harry asked.

“No, did you guys?”

“No sorry,” Ron replied.

-

After dinner they searched the library until Madame Pince ushered them out. 

“We just needed a few more minutes!” Ron whined as they headed back to the common room.

Harry lay awake that night thinking about pulling out his cloak and looking in the library again.

Soon Harry was walking down the corridors to the library. He hid in the shadows whenever a professor passed him.

When Harry was almost at the library he saw Snape sneaking down the corridor and hiding behind statues. What is he doing? Harry thought to himself. Snape usually walked around the corridors like he owned the place. Harry snuck up behind him and followed. They made their way down several corridors until they reached a large gargoyle.

“Lemon drops,” Snape said in a hushed voice. Suddenly the gargoyle moved revealing a staircase. Harry almost gasped.

They walked up the stairs. Harry made sure to be extra careful. At the top of the stairs there was a door that said Professor Dumbledore on it. What is Snape doing?   
Snape opened the door and Harry crept in behind him. Snape walked over to a shelf that had a bunch of memories stored on it. Snape started poking around in them.

Harry pulled off his cloak. “What are you doing?”

Snape nearly jumped out of his skin. “What are you doing here??!” Snape nearly yelled. 

“I’m here because I was wondering what you’re doing!”

“Why were you in the corridors after curfew?” Snape said in a more hushed voice but just as aggressive.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Fine, since you’re here you might as well help me because this may concern you as well.”

“What are you doing?” Harry asked now more curious than before.

“I don’t trust Dumbledore,” Snape said while anxiously looking around as if Dumbledore was lurking in a corner.

“You don’t?” Harry was taken back by this.

“No. He stole a memory from me for his own gain. I’m not sure what this gain is yet, but I want to find out what. I think Dumbledore is hiding more memories from me because there are some blank spots in my memory.”

“Oh... like your memories of my mother.” Harry said now understanding what was going on.

“Exactly. But you can’t tell anyone. I don’t want us to get into trouble.”

“Fine. What would we be looking for exactly?”

“Any flask that has a title that has anything to do with me, you, Lily, James, or truth.”

“Got it.”

Harry and Snape looked all around Dumbledore’s pensive shelf but couldn’t find anything. 

“Let’s look in other places, I didn’t expect any secret memories to be stored there.” Snape said.

Harry decided to look in Dumbledore’s desk. This was the strangest experience of Harry’s life, besides finding out he was a wizard months ago. He was currently working with one of his most disliked people to uncover secrets from someone Harry thought he trusted. Harry was only helping Snape because he wanted to know more about his mother, not Snape.

Harry carefully move objects around and moved them back when he saw that there were no memory flasks. Snape was talking to paintings asking if they were guarding any secret stashes. Harry watched as Snape was trying to convince an old headmaster to tell him what he was hiding. Snape seemed to really dislike that particular painting.

Harry looked back at what he was doing. He was looking in the last drawer in Dumbledore’s desk. He moved over a jar of quills and noticed that a small rug lay underneath the jar. He moved the rug and there was a small trap door.

“Uh.. Snape?”

“What.”

“I found something.”

Snape came hurrying over to Harry.

“Where?”

“Here,” Harry pointed to the trap door and then moved out of the way.

Snape crouched down and tried to open the trap door, but it wouldn’t budge. Snape then murmured something under his breath and pointed his wand at the trap door. He tried to open it again and it opened. Inside was a dusty flask. Harry watched Snape pull them out of the drawer and place them on Dumbledore’s desk. On the flask it read “Snape’s memories of Lily”


	7. Dumbledore’s Manipulations Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Some of this chapter has memories that JK Rowling wrote. I give her credit to those memories.. I just changed them up a bit for the story.

Snape and Harry stood there staring at the flask with disbelief.

"I can't believe it," Harry finally said. "Dumbledore really is untrustworthy."

"I can't believe he did this to me," Snape didn't sound like his usual self. He sounded sadder. 

Snape silently took the flask and walked over to Dumbledore's pensive. He opened the flask and poured the silvery memories into the pensive water.

"Well come on then Potter. I don't think you would like any secrets kept from you either, especially since this regards your parents."

Harry closed the trap door and put the rug and quills back, then hurried over to Snape and the pensive. 

Harry and Snape placed their heads into the pensive. Harry felt his body get pulled in until he landed in a sunny meadow. Two children around the age of twelve were running. One was a girl with long, flaming red hair and brilliant green eyes. The other was a boy wearing shabby clothes and had shoulder length black hair. It was clearly Snape and Lily. 

"Severus! Come get me!" Lily said as she ran through the green grasses and wildflowers. 

"You're so fast!" Snape slowly caught up to lily and tagged her on her back. Lily and Snape fell onto the ground laughing. 

"You're my best friend Severus." Lily said looking up at the sky.

"You're also my best friend Lily." Snape looked at his watch. "Oh no! It's almost eight o'clock! I have to go Lily, see you tomorrow!" Snape ran away from Lily. She waved at him as he ran away.

Black mist swirled around Snape and Harry and suddenly they were in front of a small run down house at the end of an alley.

"Spinners end," Snape said quietly beside Harry.

"What?" Harry wasn't sure what he was talking about.

"My childhood home."

Younger Snape opened the door to the house. He sneaked past a man that was sleeping on a chair in front of a television. He crept up the stairs and went into his room. He sat down on his bed and pulled out a potions book. Suddenly there was thumping noises getting louder until they reached the door of the room. The door slammed open. 

"What do you think you're doing?!" A man yelled. He was tall like Snape but other than that, they had no similarities. 

"I'm sorry father! I lost track of time!" Snape cried curling himself into the corner of his bed. 

"No excuses! You were late when I told you to be home at eight!!" Snape's father walked up to Snape and hit him across his face. Snape was crying.

Suddenly a slender woman with long black hair and black eyes ran into the room. 

"Don't hit him!" She cried placing herself between Snape and his father.

"Get out of the way!" He roared.

"No!"

He shoved the woman that Harry assumed was Snape's mother. He started beating her as she cried.

Snape put his hands over Harry's eyes. 

"I don't think you should witness this." Snape said to Harry. But Harry couldn't believe this was happening. It reminded him of how Uncle Vernon beat Harry whenever he used magic or mentioned anything magical.

Black mist started swirling around them again.

They were the great hall. Except the tables were pushed to the sides and there were kids sitting at desks, with their heads down, scribbling on parchment. The only sound was the scratching of quills on parchment, or the occasional cough. Sunshine was streaming through the high windows on to the students. Snape had to be here somewhere this is his memory. Harry turned to look at Snape and he saw him looking at his younger self. Teenager Snape had a stringy, pallid look about him. His hair was lank and greasy and was flopping on to his desk, his hooked nose barley an inch from his parchment. Harry moved behind Snape and saw on his paper that he was taking his Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL.   
"Five more minutes!"   
Harry looked up and saw Professor Flitwick walking between rows of students. He walked past a boy with untidy black hair. He moved closer towards the boy with untidy hair. The boy put down his quill and read his parchment as if he was checking his answers.   
"James Potter.." Present Snape said beside Harry causing him to jump.  
"So this is my father.. er.. James."  
James's eyes were hazel, his nose longer than Harry's. They didn't have any similarities except for their black hair, but Harry's hair wasn't untidy, in fact Harry's hair was straight and tidy.  
James yawned and then flipped his hair over and ran his fingers through it making it more untidy than it already was.   
A boy four seats behind gave James the thumbs up.  
"Who's that?" Asked Harry.  
"That's Sirius. One of James's friends."  
Sirius was slouched in his chair while making the chair tip. He had long dark brown hair that fell into his eyes.  
Harry looked back at James who was doodling on a piece of scrap parchment.   
"Quills down, please!" Professor Flitwick called out. "Accio!"  
All of the students parchment zoomed towards Professor Flitwick, causing him to fall over. Some people laughed while others helped him up.  
"Thank you.." Professor Flitwick said embarrassingly. "You're all free to go."  
James quickly stood up and stuffed his quill into his bag, then slung it over his shoulder and waited for Sirius.

Harry looked over and saw young Snape moving between the tables towards the doors, still looking at his exam paper. He was hunched over and walked as if someone was going to attack him.   
A group of girls walked in between Snape and James. James and Sirius gained two others in their group while walking. A pale boy with light brown hair and another boy that was shorter and had a mousy look to him.   
Present Snape and Harry walked behind James and Sirius.   
"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius asked the pale boy as they entered the entrance hall.   
"Loved it," said the pale boy. "'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' So easy."  
"You think you got them all?" James said mockingly.  
"Think so." Moony said jokingly, as they tried to get outside with the rest of the crowd.  
"One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin."  
"Who's Remus Lupin?" Harry asked Snape.  
"He's the one talking."  
Harry couldn't believe it! A werewolf at Hogwarts!  
The mousy boy didn't laugh at Remus' joke.  
"I got the snout shape and the pupils of the eyes," he said anxiously, but I couldn't think what else-"  
"How thick are you Wormtail?" said James. "You run around with a werewolf once a month-"  
"Keep your voice down!" Remus yelled in a hushed voice.  
Harry looked behind him and saw Snape still staring at his exam parchment.

James and his friends were walking outside towards the lake and Snape followed with his nose still buried in his exam.   
"Well I thought that paper was easy," Sirius said. "I'll be surprised if I don't get an Outstanding on it."  
"Me too," said James. He read he's into his robes and pulled out a golden snitch.   
"Where did you get that?"  
"Stole it," said James coolly. He let the stitch fly around and then he would catch it and then repeated the action again. Wormtail watched, amazed.

They stopped in the shade of a tree at the edge of the lake, and threw themselves down in the grass. Snape was sitting on the grass in a dark shadow of some bushes, still looking at his exam paper. The sunlight was shining on the lake, where Harry saw the same group of girls from earlier. They were walking along the shallow water.  
Remus was reading a book while Sirius stared at the other students coming outside. James was still playing with the snitch while Wormtail still watched in awe. Wormtail would applaud when James would make a difficult catch. This went on for five minutes and James seemed to be enjoying the attention. James once again ran his fingers through his hair to make it untidy, while looking at the girls by the lake.  
"I'm bored," said Sirius. "I wish it was a full moon."  
"This might liven you up, Sirius," said James darkly. "Look who it is..."  
Sirius looked over at Snape as if he was hunting him.  
"Excellent," he said quietly. "Snivellus."

Snape was on his feet again and he was stuffing his exam into his bag. As he left the shadows of the bushes and started walking away, James and Sirius stood up.  
"All right, Snivellus?" James yelled to Snape.  
Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he reached his hand into his robes and his wand was halfway in the air when James shouted, "Expelliamus!"  
Snape's wand flew into the air and landed on the grass behind him. Sirius laughed.  
"Impedimenta!" He said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his wand.  
Students stared crowding around eager to watch a fight.  
Snape lay on the ground and James and Sirius came closer with their Wanda raised. James looked over at the girls at the lake again.   
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" Said James.  
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius. "There'll be grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."  
"You - wait," Snape panted, staring up at James with an expression of loathing, "you - wait!"  
"Wait for what?" Said Sirius Coolly. " what are you going to do, wipe your nose on us?"   
Snape let out a stream of swear words and hexes, but his wand was still behind him.  
"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly, "scourgify!"   
Pink bubbles came poring out of Snape's mouth and he started gagging and choking.  
"Leave him ALONE!"  
James and Sirius looked around. James immediately began to ruffle his hair.  
One of the girls from the lake was coming towards them. It was Lily.   
"All good, Evans?" Asked James.  
"Leave him alone," she repeated. She was looking at James with intense dislike. "What had he done to you?"  
"Well," said James. "It's more the fact that he exists."  
Many students laughed.  
"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone!"  
"Only if you go out with me," James said quickly.  
"I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last person on earth," said Lily.  
"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, and turning back to Snape. Snape was wrestling himself out of the spell. "Oi!"  
But it was too late. Snape directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on James' face. There was another flash. Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.  
Many people in the small crowd cheered. Sirius, James and Wormtail roared with laughter.  
Lily's face went from intense dislike to hate and rage.   
"Let him down!!"  
"Okay," said James and he jerked his wand upwards. Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. He quickly got to his feet and pulled his wand up, but Sirius said, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Snape keeled over again, rigid as a board.  
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily roared. She had her wand out now.  
"Don't make me hex you Evans," said James.  
"Take the cutest off him!"  
James sighed, then turned to Snape and muttered a counter curse.  
"There you go," he said, as Snape got up. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus."  
Snape didn't say anything.  
"You're damn right!" Lily shouted. "I can't stand you! You're and awful human being! Can you leave him alone?" Lily huffed and grabbed Snape's arm. "Let's go!"  
She turned and dragged Snape away without a glance back.


	8. Dumbledore’s Manipulations Part 2

Black mist swirled around the two once more. It was difficult for Harry to watch. Ever since Harry found out he was a wizard, he was told how great his father was. Harry felt ashamed that people thought James was his father. For once in Harry's life, he was glad Snape was his real father.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that.." Snape said not looking at Harry.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Harry said awkwardly.

He looked around and saw that they were in Dumbledore's office again. But sitting across Dumbledore's desk, was an older Lily and Snape. Dumbledore was leaning across the desk and speaking quietly. The charming twinkle in his eye was gone. Lily was fiddling with a loose string on her robes and Snape was gripping her arm.

"As you know Voldemort is rising to power," Dumbledore said and Snape winced. "I have a plan, but I need both of your permission."

"What is it?" Lily asked.

"You see, Severus was friends with some of Voldemort's followers a couple years ago," Dumbledore started. 

"You want me to join you-know-who," Snape said.

"Exactly. But you will be a spy for the order."

"No you can't make him! He will find out!" Lily cried.

"In order for it to work, only us three will know about it." 

"I'll do it." Snape finally said.

"You can't Severus!"

"Come talk to me over here," Snape motioned over to the side of the room, where Harry and Snape were watching.

"Lily we have to!" Snape said quietly.

"Why?! What if you die?"

"This is the only way we will have a future together."

"But I love you Severus!"

"I know, I love you too. This is the only way."

"Okay, let's do it."

They walked back over to Dumbledore.  
"I'll do it," said Snape.

Dumbledore smiled.

The dark mist swirled and surrounded them once again until they were standing in a large field. It was sunny and the long grass was golden from the hot summer. It was the same field that Lily and Snape were playing in as kids.

Snape and lily were running once again. This time Lily was ahead of Snape. Snape was clearly letting Lily run ahead. Soon Lily stopped to look over the horizon. Snape stopped behind her and got down on one knee. Lily turned around and gasped.

"Severus! I-" she held her hands over her mouth. Her dress flew behind her in the wind.

"Lily I love you so much. I always have. Will you marry me?" Snape opened a box. Inside was a necklace. 

"Of course!" Lily cried. Snape stood up and put the necklace around Lily's neck.

"Open it," Snape said. Lily opened the necklace and inside was a picture of Snape and Lily from seventh year. On the other side were the words "Amica mea". 

"Oh Severus! I love it!" Lily said tearing up. Snape leaned down and hugged Lily. Lily let go of the necklace and wrapped her arms around Snape. "I love you," she whispered into his ear.

"I love you too."

The dark mist swirled and consumed them once again until they were on a beach. The sky was filled with pinks, yellows, and blues. The water reflected the sky and sparkled. Down the beach was a crowd of people. 

The people were sitting in white chairs and facing an arch of flowers. Under the arch of flowers was Snape and Lily. Snape was in a completely black wizard suit and his hair was tied up into a half ponytail. Lily was in a long white dress and her hair was curled and flowed down her back. There was a lily sticking out behind her ear that Snape had given her earlier. 

Lily and Snape were holding each other's hands while looking into their eyes.   
"You may now kiss the bride," a wizard said.

Snape held his hand on Lily's face and lily held her hand on top of his. 

The mist swirled again but this time felt different. It felt colder. 

They were in Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore was sitting at his desk and across was Lily and Snape. Lily was sobbing and Snape was holding her in his arms. He was shushing her while stroking her hair. In the doorway stood James.

"I'm sorry, but it's gotten too risky," said Dumbledore. "You're going to have to marry James." James looked up and a smirk appeared on his face. Snape glared back at him. "Voldemort is getting too suspicious of Severus."

Lily sobbed harder. "There has to be another way!" She cried.

"I'm afraid not."

The mist flowed and swirled, darker this time.

They were in a house at a large table. Lots of people were surrounding it. At one end was Snape and at the other was Lily and James. James was flirting with Lily and Lily giggled. Snape glared darkly at them both, but his eyes seemed sad.

"As you all know now, Severus has been a spy for us, but it has gotten very risky. In order to keep everyone safe, Lily and James have gotten married!" Dumbledore said while raising a glass. Everyone cheered and clapped.

"Congrats!" One wizard said.

The mist swirled even darker and colder than any of the other times.

Snape stood in front of a house. He walked slowly to the front door. As he reached for the door knob he was shaking. The door opened slowly.

It was dark inside and very quiet. He walked towards the stairs and went up. As he turned the corner he saw James laying on the floor. He bent down and checked his pulse. He stood up and continued down the hallway. He headed towards the last room where the door was slightly ajar. He pushed it open and froze.

Lily was laying on the floor in a heap. He let out a hoarse yell, and fell to the ground. He rolled Lily over and held her in his arms, completely unaware of the past life they lived. Their happy marriage all gone because James had erased his memory a year ago. He let out chokes and sobs as he held her limp body. Finally he stood up and sent out a patronus to Dumbledore. The doe galloped out of his wand and disappeared. He bent down to Lily and saw something shine around her neck. He pulled it and saw a necklace. It wasn't an ordinary necklace, but a locket. He unlatched it and opened it. He started sobbing again. 

Inside was a picture of Snape and Lily from seventh year. On the other side the words "Amica mea". But there was also a folded piece of paper. He opened it and read it.

Dear Severus,  
By now you probably know that I'm dead. I'm so sorry, I know how much you loved me. I've worn this necklace everyday since. I love you so much and I always have. I never loved James as much as you. Please try to live on without me no matter how much it hurts.  
Take care Severus.  
With love,  
-Lily ♡


	9. The Locket

Harry and Snape flew out of the pensive and back into Dumbledore's office. Harry stood up and looked over at Snape who was sitting on the floor with his head on his knees. Harry couldn't believe his eyes because his most emotionless professor was crying.

Snape didn't know what to do. All of his memories returned to him and it was very overwhelming. He was once married to Lily. Lily... and Harry was really his son. He had realized that before, but it felt more real now. Harry, not knowing what to do, sat down beside Snape who was leaning against Dumbledore's desk. Snape looked like he didn't want to talk, so Harry sat in silence. Harry felt a little awkward sitting with a crying Snape so he leaned his head onto his shoulder. Snape winced a little but didn't oppose.

Snape lifted his head and reached into his robes. He pulled out the locket, and opened it. Inside was the same picture of Snape and Lily, along with the letter. Snape held the locket and cried once again. 

"I didn't know it was a locket..." Snape sobbed.

"You remember getting it?" Harry asked, thankful that the silence was broken.

"I- I remembered finding it in your room after Lord Voldemort tried to kill you, but that's it." Harry noticed that Snape was one of the few people that weren't afraid to use Voldemort's name.

"After my mother died..." Harry added.

"Yes your mother."

"Why did you use Voldemort's name? Is it because you're a death eater?"

Snape nodded hesitantly. He didn't want to correct Harry that he wasn't a death eater anymore. He decided that he wanted Harry to think that he was. He wanted to see if Harry would still like him, and part of him wanted Harry to hate him for it.

"I understand." 

"Understand what?"

"Why you became a death eater," Snape looked over at him for the first time. "You did it because you thought it was the right thing to do."

"But-"

"I know that it may have played a part in my mother's death, but it still was the right thing to do." Snape stared at Harry. There was no way that he was going to tell Harry that he was the one that delivered the prophecy to Lord Voldemort, or Harry might never forgive him.

"Are you sure? It's still my biggest regret..."

"Yeah, plus I may not be here today if you didn't join them." Snape looked away. Harry was right, but his mother could be here. "And I would live my whole life believing I was James' son and you would have never found out the truth." Snape looked back at Harry. He truly did have Snape's cleverness.

"I do remember Dumbledore asking me to become a death eater, but I didn't remember Lily being there. It seems like my memory was altered." Harry looked over at Snape.

"Wait... you don't remember the part where you made a deal with James and Lily because you were obliviated, but you still remember parts of these memories." Snape looked over at Harry in awe. 

"You're right. Someone didn't obliviate me, but altered my memories," Snape said realizing that he did in fact remember some of his old memories.


End file.
